About me
Who the hell are you?
Aside from awesome? I’m Rob Gomes. I currently live in Boston, MA with me, myself, and far too much spare time.
I’m also looking for a new job. Looking for a seasoned SQL Server Developer that can help take the load off your regular operations DBAs and let your .NET developers worry about .NET instead of everything SQL? Or maybe you’re looking to add a new SQL Server Database Administrator that not only gets things done with brutal efficiency, but can bring a great sense of humor to your team? Hey, I’m available!
What’s the point of this blog?
Most people would probably guess that I’ve broken off my relationships with my imaginary friends, but no, you’d be surprised!
Very few people start out in their career as a database administrator, or even a SQL developer. Sure, it happens, but it’s relatively infrequent. More often than not, sysadmins at smaller companies have to support applications that are backed by SQL Server, simply because there’s no DBA on staff. Additionally, developers have to write applications that work with a SQL Server database all the time - sure they can write queries, create tables, create stored procedures and a few other things, but a lot of developers end up having incredible breadth, with no depth, so when complex problems arise they can feel a bit lost.
These folks are specifically who I’m targeting - the guy who’s been thrown headfirst into SQL Server and needs to learn more than just the basics. However, I’ve run into seasoned SQL developers and database administrators who stumble when trying to create the ideal indexes for a table, have difficulty identifying deadlocks or performance bottlenecks, or just aren’t aware of the tools that are available to make their lives easier.
Sure, there’s plenty of awesome people out there like Adam Machanic, Brent Ozar, Kimberly Tripp, SQL Agent Man and SQLBatman, but so am I, damnit! My guidance counselor had always insisted that I’m a unique and special snowflake, so it must be true!
Lazy? What’s so good about being lazy?!
Laziness is a virtue. Laziness is what drives me to build code generator templates so I don’t have to waste my time writing boilerplate code for the sprocs you need.
Laziness is what possesses me to thoroughly abuse dynamic management views to automagically email me reports detailing what queries are beating the crap out of the server, what specific statements in those queries are the most brain-dead, and what indexes it might need.
Laziness is why I use the awesome built-in functionality in SQL Server and other tools to get things done, instead of creating half-assed, unproven solutions that will fall down and create more work for everyone.
Laziness is the reason you have a one-button or fully-automatic build system that spews documentation, runs unit tests, creates upgrade and rollback scripts and can build any version of your database from scratch so your team isn’t wasting valuable time babysitting your builds and making silly mistakes in a manual process that you should have automated.
If laziness is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
Contact me!
Email me at rob@lazysonofabitch.net, or follow me on twitter as @robgomes.